Under Employment Blues

I have been staring at this computer screen off and on for the past several days. Although I have missed having an outlet to bounce my feelings off of, my updates are quite lackluster and I am a little ashamed. I have been away for a while—supposedly off to some wondrous quest to find some type of meaning of life and happiness. What did I come up with?

Um…truthfully…much of nothing. Sorry but even my thoughts of grandeur could not turn these stubborn lemons into fresh squeezed crowd pleasing lemonade. Those lemons instead stayed on my kitchen counter, festered and withered like a raisin in the sun. Langston Hughes would be so proud of that analogy…nah…probably not.

Well, I did get a job.

Um…not so quick people. Put the balloons, confetti and party blowers away!

I did not like the job but they were one of the few companies that called me back. I bombed some interviews and out of sheer desperation, I took the job. I did not even have to interview for it! WINNING! And just like that, life in Severely Unemployed Town began once again. Just as I got used to this habitual and miserable complacency, something surprising happened.

I got terminated—today as a matter of fact. The company claimed it was due to a credit check which is confusing to me. My credit has been good lately. It has been so good that I have acquired credit cards again. That has not happened since my mid 20s! They also claimed that the background company sent me a letter last month. I never received a damn letter!

After 3 years of unemployment due to a company layoff, a series of bad interviews, and not knowing what to do with my damn life, I really thought I was on a road that led to somewhere. Now the grueling task of finding new employment is upon me sooner than expected. It scares me. I want to shit myself. I want to hide under my freaking blanket.

More updates to come…