A few months ago I decided to try online dating due to my best friend’s urging—yet again. I got an influx of messages from pervs who liked big women and dudes who didn’t know basic grammar and mechanics.
There was one guy who stood out though. He was a self-employed real estate broker that recently moved to Houston from the Pacific Northwest. He was 51, handsome, a world traveler, single and had no children. No children? Never been married? Was he a fucking unicorn?
He was respectful, genuine and very easy to talk to. After a few weeks of chatting, we decided to meet in person. I was quite nervous. My last date didn’t go so well. It was quite a disaster and I never wanted to do it ever again.
We decided to meet a casual restaurant near my place. The place was completely deserted and it made me feel at ease because I’m not a fan of big crowds. I barely leave my apartment unless I’m working or running errands. I paced around in the restroom. I fixed my bra, touched up my makeup and readjusted my Spanx. What if I looked better in my pics than in person? What if he looked better in his pics than in person? What if there’s no chemistry? What if it’s awkward? Will we be going Dutch?
He entered the restaurant shortly after I seated myself. We greeted each other with a hug and he said “Wow”. I’m going to assume that the “wow” was in response to my blinding beauty. Yeah. Let’s go with that, shall we?
We have a few glasses of wine and a light meal. We talked and laughed for a couple of hours. It was a good date overall.
It was our only date.
We’ve talked and hung out a lot since then. We decided that we weren’t ready to seriously date anyone. He’s not as financially settled as he would like to be. He is also Airbnb-ing from one place to the next. I’m still on this self-love journey and trying to get my shit together. Even though we agreed on this, I feel like we’re using these obstacles as a crutch.
The last time we were intimate, he told me that he was giving himself 6 months to get himself together and will find someone in his age range. I guess that excludes me. I’m 15 years his junior. A part of me was somewhat disappointed but when has anyone ever chosen me?
I know. I know. My time will come.
For the past year, I have abstained from sex. At the time, it felt vital in my self-love journey. Also, working on my first book proved to be a great distraction. I honestly was doing well and didn’t miss it. I no longer abused sex. I no longer used it to self-medicate. I didn’t think it could make someone love me. My mind felt clearer.
This past July I met The One Who is a Nudist on Craigslist.
Wait! Let me explain!
I love reading the Missed Connection section on CL. They range from being humorous, romantic, or downright naughty. You never know what you’re going to get!
There was an ad that caught my eye and I decided to respond. The poster lived in my apartment complex and was looking for someone who was sitting poolside the previous day. He posted a pic of his body and I thought he was the Russian guy that stayed around the corner. I later realized it wasn’t him. We kept chatting anyway and he eventually guessed who I was. He told me what car I drove and that he has checked me out before. We exchanged numbers and chatted from time to time. We even hung out without having sex. His nudity was a bit awkward at first but I started not to notice after a while. I eventually joined in on the fun. It was quite liberating!
He reached out to me after returning from a business trip last month. It was one of those nights when I was feeling lonely and craved human touch. We shared a joint, drank beers and listened to some chill-out music as usual. The vibe was phenomenal.
One thing led to another and his hands and mouth were everywhere! My body became his instrument and he plucked every string! His stamina was mind-blowing. I haven’t had sex like that since my early 20s! I had to tap out after a couple of hours. My soul felt like it was leaving my body.
He wanted me to spend the night. I’m not used to sleeping next to anyone because they never stay. I’m so used to everyone leaving. It felt very awkward to me. He also snored like a freight train. Around 7am I left while he was sleeping and texted a lame excuse.
It’s been a month and there’s been little to no communication. After he failed to reply to my last couple of messages, I took the hint. Maybe he was offended that I left. Maybe it was a one night thing for him. At this point I do not care. But why did it have to be so good?
IT. WAS. SO. GOOD.