Don’t Ask Questions During Sex!

Why do people ask questions during sex? Is it to catch you off guard or distract you? During sex is not the time to ask life-altering questions. During mind-blowing sex, I would probably agree to assassinate a world leader. I am not in my right state of mind. I’m feeling oh so lovely and my adrenaline is flowing. I’m in another dimension. Text always asks questions or make suggestions dead smack in the middle of sex!

When we first start hooking up, this was the first question he posed:

 Him:  “Wouldn’t like to get this dick 3 times a week?”

Me: “Huh?” *moans*

Him: “I bet you would like this dick 3 times a week.”

Me: “Yes. Uh huh.” *moans*

Afterwards, I thought to myself, “Hell to the no.” I know how I am. We would have sex more often and more oxytocin would start flowing in. I would feel bonded to him and start to have feelings. He would in turn hurt those poor little feelings. Then I’ll post a bitter ass blog post about it. Having my heart broken again is life altering! Been there, done that, and have a t-shirt two sizes too small. That reminds me, I really need to go back on my diet. LOL.

Who would ask such a specific question anyway? What if I wanted more or less than 3 times a week?  Are we supposed to sit down and schedule a date and time? There’s no room for spontaneity. That’s ludicrous! There is no way in my right mind I would agree to this if there weren’t any earth shattering orgasms involved. 

The questions ceased until a few days ago. He asked me in mid orgasm the following:

 Him: “You gonna give this pussy to me and only me?” *strokes harder*

Me: “Yes! Yes! I promise. I PROMISE! *pants* This is your pussy!” *and boom goes the dynamite *

Damn. WTF. Did I just agree to sexual exclusivity? You can’t ask a booty buddy to agree to sexual exclusivity. That’s not in the booty buddy handbook! It’s not like this is some deep and meaningful relationship that renders such a discussion in regards to my vaginal devotion. It is just sex. Great sex but just sex. Sigh. No one should ask questions during sex. Orgasms and deep “Imma beat that pussy ’til the white meat show” strokes tend to make me highly agreeable.

Have you ever asked questions during sex? Have you ever agreed to something that you wouldn’t normally do during sex?  



Head in the Clouds?

Can I handle sex again or do I have my head in the clouds?

A very good friend of mine suggested I should return to celibacy. She said that she is afraid that I may get hurt again and that I need emotional love, not just the physical act of sex. I told her that I was touched by what she said but no one is offering emotional love at the moment and that I get so lonely like Janet Jackson.

It has been nearly 2 years since I felt the throes of passion and being in that state again feels wonderful. In my heart of hearts, I know that she made some valid points but I’m at the crossroads of desire and want to feel close to someone again. I want to be kissed and touched. When Soothed runs his fingers along my naked body, I can feel curves that I never knew I had. It makes me feel womanly.

And the intensity of sex is too hard to ignore now, especially the orgasms. But yet and still, a part of me wonders if I made the transition to sex too soon. Will I get my feelings hurt again?

When I was celibate, I was in certain situations where I could have had sex but didn’t. I was asked out on dates but declined in order to avoid temptation. What made our situation so different? I thought long and hard about this and had a Oprah “Aha!” moment; Soothed offered the boyfriend experience. Our interactions were more personal and intimate than the traditional casual relationship.

The majority of my other casual relationships were mainly a “fuck and dash” situation. There was no hanging out after sex. There were no in-depth conversations. There weren’t intense passionate moments. There weren’t kisses and touches outside of the sexual endeavors. There weren’t moments where I could let my hair down and be my natural goofy self. Soothed is like a boyfriend that I don’t have! We hang out hours at a time, laugh at the tops of our lungs, have every conversation imaginable, cuddle, kiss, touch, and sing (he does most of it because I sound like a strangled cat). And the sex is amazing!

Is sex with Soothed something that I can handle in the long run? He was the first man who I had sex with since giving celibacy the heave-ho. A part of me feels that giving him my celibacy bonded me to him somehow. And since losing my virginity wasn’t consensual, I considered my celibacy journey as my second-generation virginity.

Do I want him to be my boyfriend? Is that why I always got jealous when he used to bring other women home? Is that why when he’s not home, I sometimes wonder where he could be? Is it why I ask him from time to time why a good guy like him is still single?

Perhaps I just like the idea of him being my boyfriend. And even if I had a tiny fraction of hope, I would never ask him to be mine. That screams desperation and opens up the possibility of rejection. I’ve learned my lesson from The One Who Didn’t Feel the Same. I refuse to make something out of nothing or pine for someone only to get heartbroken. I don’t think that I can handle another heartbreak.