Medicationville 2.0

The past few weeks have been rough. The ups and downs were taking a toll on me. I was manic. I was hypersexual and had no one to have sex with!!! I considered seducing Soothed, Lied, Fire, or the Silver Fox but I didn’t y’all. I kept my legs closed this time. Hallelujah!!! I frivolously spent $2,000 which should have gone towards buying a new car. I really needed that car. Sigh. Other times I had crying spells and fantasized about not being among the living. The slightest things began to irritate me. And the feeling of being watched in public and through my air ducts at home became exhausting too.

I decided to get back on medication to manage my bipolar disorder. I was prescribed 50mgs of Zoloft and 40mgs of Latuda. I am noticing that I can go to sleep much easier at night. (It normally takes me 2-3 hours to fall asleep.) There is a slight zombie feeling but it’s not overwhelming so far. I am concerned about the weight gain though. I’m already a plus size gal. The last thing I need is to gain even more weight and look like a chocolate dipped Marshmallow Man with giant tits. Sigh.

mashmallow

Maybe medication is necessary right now. Maybe I can start enjoying life again, gain more focus, and minimize these manic and depressive episodes.

Other than that, I don’t have much of an update. Um…I turned 35 a few weeks ago. And speaking of chocolate, I did eat three boxes of Valentine’s Day candy. Don’t judge me. It was awesome!

I also think that my feelings are getting way too strong for my Silver Fox. It’s damn near obsessive. I haven’t seen him in over a week and damn near cried because of it. Perhaps the meds will calm that down a bit. We shall see.

Related Posts—> In The Land of Zombies and Scaredy Cats
                                   Back To Medicationville?
 

 

Worst Plan Ever

It’s has been nearly 3 months since I had sex. A few nights ago, I nearly had a breakdown. I was crying, feeling lonely and extremely hypersexual. I craved to be kissed, touched and loved (or least lusted after). I needed to feel something. I thought I was going to go mad. So I devised a plan…a very stupid plan. I decided to seduce (or at least seductively flirt with) Silver Fox. Yes, the professor!

I had it all planned out in my head. I would make up a random excuse to go to his office. He would be sitting at his desk. I would come behind him, whisper something dirty in his ear and start kissing on his neck. He would initially object but cave in as his breathing got heavier and heavier. Or I would reach across the desk to touch his hand innocently. Somehow, my touch would send passion through his veins like a wildfire! Desire would overwhelm us and he would take me on his desk LIKE A BOSS!!! Maybe I should lay off the soap operas.

The next day, I wore a “nice but not too nice like I was trying to get attention” dress. It was  Marilyn Monroe meets Zoey Deschanel. Sexy and flirty but with a dash of adorkable. When the moment of seduction drew near, I freshened up and took off my granny panties. I slipped on my sexy red & black lace boy shorts from Frederick’s of Hollywood. I couldn’t seduce him in sweaty ass big ass panties!

“G. U. Y.” by Lady Gaga played in my head as I sashayed to his office.  “I wanna be the girl under you. I wanna be your G.U.Y. Oh yeah!”

No one was there. He was at a department meeting.

“I guess I’ll come back later,” I muttered to myself as I slowly lost all the lady balls I was grabbing just moments earlier.

About an hour later, we ran into each other. Damn it! He was supposed to be at his desk! This wasn’t part of the m-effing plan! Damn it!

“Hi. Dr. ********. I was stopping by to pick up my assignment. Did you make your copy?” I said quite confident of myself.

“Oh. Ok. I think I may have it here,” he awkwardly said. Gosh he is so awkward but it’s kinda cute. My heart started to pound. He opened the door for me and we went inside. I closed his door behind me LIKE A BOSS!!! That awkward dick was going to be mine!!!

“Um…I did not get a chance to make a copy…I’ll be back shortly.”

I started to panic. My lace undies were giving me a major wedgie! I gave myself an internal pep talk. “Wink at him! Touch his hand when he gives your paper back! Lick your lips! Do something!”

He came back and…LEFT THE DOOR WIDE OPEN!!! Damn it! I can’t seduce him with the door opened! Thanks a lot Dr. Oblivious!

He told me that I did very well and thanked me. I thought the thanking me part was weird but I let it slide. We briefly talked about the upcoming term paper. He wanted to know more about my topic.

“Um…I don’t know…I’m still confused about what to do,” I said as I avoided eye contact and shifted my attention to the other professors talking in the hallway.

“Do you have any questions?”

I choked. I couldn’t go through with my sexy yet stupid plan. Too many f*cking barriers.

“No,” I said in disappointment over the opened door, my nervousness and the wedgie that increasingly limited blood circulation to my butt crack!

“No???” he said surprisingly as if he anticipated a different response.

I thanked him for returning my paper and left. All I kept thinking was, “That was so awkward!” and “I need to take off these damn panties!”