He Rocked My World & I Left

For the past year, I have abstained from sex. At the time, it felt vital in my self-love journey. Also, working on my first book proved to be a great distraction. I honestly was doing well and didn’t miss it. I no longer abused sex. I no longer used it to self-medicate. I didn’t think it could make someone love me. My mind felt clearer.

This past July I met The One Who is a Nudist on Craigslist.

Wait! Let me explain!

I love reading the Missed Connection section on CL. They range from being humorous, romantic, or downright naughty. You never know what you’re going to get!

There was an ad that caught my eye and I decided to respond. The poster lived in my apartment complex and was looking for someone who was sitting poolside the previous day. He posted a pic of his body and I thought he was the Russian guy that stayed around the corner. I later realized it wasn’t him. We kept chatting anyway and he eventually guessed who I was. He told me what car I drove and that he has checked me out before. We exchanged numbers and chatted from time to time. We even hung out without having sex. His nudity was a bit awkward at first but I started not to notice after a while. I eventually joined in on the fun. It was quite liberating!

He reached out to me after returning from a business trip last month. It was one of those nights when I was feeling lonely and craved human touch. We shared a joint, drank beers and listened to some chill-out music as usual. The vibe was phenomenal.

One thing led to another and his hands and mouth were everywhere! My body became his instrument and he plucked every string! His stamina was mind-blowing. I haven’t had sex like that since my early 20s! I had to tap out after a couple of hours. My soul felt like it was leaving my body.


He wanted me to spend the night. I’m not used to sleeping next to anyone because they never stay. I’m so used to everyone leaving. It felt very awkward to me. He also snored like a freight train. Around 7am I left while he was sleeping and texted a lame excuse.

It’s been a month and there’s been little to no communication. After he failed to reply to my last couple of messages, I took the hint. Maybe he was offended that I left. Maybe it was a one night thing for him. At this point I do not care. But why did it have to be so good?



So…Online Dating Really Works?

On a whim, I decided to post an online dating profile on Ok Cupid last week. I honestly didn’t think I would get any responses. I’ve done the online dating with Match and Plenty of Fish but there were nothing but crickets in my inbox. I also tried Craigslist (don’t ask me why) and nothing but horn dogs and perverts responded with enclosed pics of their throbbing privates.

I was for certain that I was going to meet some weirdo who wanted to add me to his collection of dead bodies in his basement. I even contemplated deleting my ad the same day it was posted. I was terrified. I had to pause for the cause when The One Who Never Let Up messaged me! That truly irked me.

While searching, I came across the type of man I liked—Hershey kiss complexion, slender, socially conscious, cultured and intelligent. His profile seemed too good to be true. I wanted to respond to his profile but I hesitated. A part of me feared being rejected and I really don’t like being the aggressor. I knew that he could see who viewed his profile so I figured if he liked mine, he would respond. He responded! Yay! *does happy dance*

We exchanged numbers and he called the next day. Everything he said was so thought-provoking and deep. I couldn’t get enough of it. Finally! I’m talking to a man with a brain! I didn’t have to listen to a guy brag about his sneaker collection, his fancy car, his penis or his money. There were no awkward silences on the phone. I found his intelligence so sexy and refreshing. He had that Malcolm X swag and I wanted to be his Betty Shabazz.

He also expressed the fact that it was hard meeting like-minded people and wondered if he had to hold part of himself back in order to conform. I totally understood because I find myself doing the same at times. We also had the same taste in music, books, and similar thoughts on social issues and religion.  We made plans to meet each other the very next week.


We met at the Menil Collection for our first date yesterday afternoon. I was extremely nervous but once I saw him, all of those feelings disappeared almost instantly. Something just felt right about him being in my realm and I his. We walked around, admired various artworks and had stimulating conversation. After the museum, we went to Starbucks. We had frappes and spent a couple of hours talking even more. I felt like I’ve known him my entire life. I didn’t want our conversation to end and for someone who is as quiet as I am, that’s huge.

All in all, it was a great date. It’s probably one of the best ones I’ve ever had. This online dating thing pleasantly surprised me. I wasn’t turned off or bored out of my mind. I didn’t need that “emergency” phone call from my bestie. I didn’t have to rub lotion on my skin or else get the hose again.

The date felt organic and it left me with full of intrigue. I learned a lot about him and vice versa. If he were a book, I wouldn’t mind losing myself in his pages. I also like the fact that nothing sexual ever came up. I am definitely not used to that. We have plans to meet again next week. We’re watching a documentary. I love documentaries! He also suggested that I make dinner. I think he’s trying to check out my cooking skills y’all. What should I make? Let’s cross our fingers and hope no food poisoning occurs.  That would be a disaster. And I will keep my legs and mouth closed. I will act as pure as the driven snow.

Have you ever dated online? How was your experience(s)?