Side Chick Approved?

Disclaimer: I may sound petty and whiny but it’ my blog. I can be petty and whiny if I want to.

For the past couple of years I have noticed that the men I was involved with sexually or otherwise are now in stable relationships with other women. At first I did not give a damn but lately, it has been doing something to my spirit y’all. The One Who Loves To Text, The One Who Was My Lawyer, The One Who Is Special, and The One Who Was Too Young are now parading their relationships for all of Facebook to see.  I find this peculiar because half of these guys claimed that they didn’t want Facebook in their business when we were involved. Things that make you go hmm.

Anywho…a particular incident had an effect on me and it came from somewhere I least expected. For the past year or so, Young and I have been constant contact. He claimed that he was single and that he wanted me to be his boo. Of course I did not take him too seriously. I won’t fake the funk; a part of me liked the attention. After our horrible sexual encounter, I did not feel the need the have sex with him again. That sure didn’t stop him from trying though! A part of me found his persistence somewhat endearing. It made me feel desired.

To make a long story short, I saw that he recently got engaged to his girlfriend on Facebook. Yep. Girlfriend. It turned out he had one the entire time.  There he was on bended knee proposing to a dainty petite woman as their closest friends look on.  Soon to follow were pics of her showing off her ring which was pretty damn gorgeous by the way.

Jealousy started to set in. Why was she the type of chick that a man wanted to marry? Furthermore, why was I the type of chick that guys wanted to fool around with secretly?  Was I not pretty enough? Was I too fat? Too mousy? Just a wet hole and nothing more? All of these self-defeating thoughts and more swam in my head. Why was this affecting me so much?! I don’t even like this dude romantically. I’m still gaga over The One Who Is a Silver Fox!

A few days later, Young had the nerve to contact me via text message.


Young: I want to take you out to breakfast.

Me: I’m pretty sure your fiancée wouldn’t like that. You’ve been acting like you didn’t have someone the whole time.



Young: Lol you can be my side boo if you like. I’ll pay you.

Me: I’ll pass. I don’t want to be someone’s dirty little secret. I don’t want to be a side boo, chick, bitch, pussy, etc. Call me silly but I’d like to think that I deserve more than that.

Young: You do tho.

Young: I’ll still buy you breakfast lol.

Me: Thanks but no thanks.

I don’t know why I even replied to his text anyway. Perhaps I was looking for a “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about my fiancee” apology.  I definitely wasn’t looking for a “You can be my side chick and I’ll pay you like a hooker” type of ish.

It is not the fact that he got engaged per se. It’s a combination of things. It seems like dudes are by passing me like I have Ebola when it comes to relationships. I’m 35, childless, and sleep alone every damn night. Am I not a fucking catch? A sista can not live on dick alone.

I’m either faced with unrequited love or attract dudes who want a side chick. Do I have “Side Chick Approved” stamped on my forehead? I can not say that I’m completely faultless though; I let men treat me this way for far too long. Perhaps I didn’t think I was worthy to receive more. Sigh. At this point, I’m just done. So done.


Yet Another Dating Mis√adventure

So…I had date recently. We have been conversing back and forth on Facebook a while now. Eventually, we began communicating outside of social media. (Sidenote: I actually thought he was this guy that I conversed with in my Myspace days but yeah…I was wrong.) Anywho, he seemed like a cool guy. He is the type that I usually go for physically and intellectually but somehow I wasn’t attracted to him.

I think my last experience has me wary about getting too involved and has made me somewhat cold. I don’t put all my eggs in one basket anymore. I’ve actually kicked the eggs and the basket to the curb. They seem to weigh me down and disappoint me every time.

He asked me out to the movies and I accepted the invitation. I didn’t have any expectations. I didn’t expect to be so taken by him that I would pick out baby names. But yet and still, going on a date should have at least excited me a little bit. I really don’t get out much. My last real date was in early April.

He picked me up at my apartment complex. Although we were conversing, the energy felt slightly awkward. Also, when I would ask a question, they went unanswered or he would give me a response that didn’t cater to the question. It was as if he was ignoring me. I found this odd but didn’t make a big deal out of it. Another thing that irked me was his driving. It seemed somewhat erratic even though his eyes were on the road the entire time. It was kind of weird.  I didn’t know what to make of it.

When we arrived at the movie theater, he complained about the $3 parking fee. Yeah, he had the nerve to complain about $3. We drove around looking for a free spot for several minutes before he finally caved in—but not without giving the parking attendant hell about it. He wanted a rundown of what he was paying for! It was so embarrassing!

He purchased the tickets for Borne Legacy and we proceeded to our designated area. I leaned in to whisper a joke into his right ear but something out of the ordinary occurred. He handed me some weird contraption attached to a cord. He informed me that he couldn’t hear out of his right ear and wanted me to talk into his amplifier. I was taken aback by it and declined. There were people around us and I couldn’t really whisper anymore.

After the movies, we drove around aimlessly looking for a place to eat. He finally decided on a Tex-Mex restaurant. He didn’t ask what I wanted and order 2 tacos for me. Then he proceeded to give the cashier a hard time about ingredients in an item that he didn’t even order. Can you say embarrassed yet again? When we got into his truck, he let me inside and he walked to McDonald’s to get a free cup of water for himself. I couldn’t wait to get home! This dude was rude and to top it off—cheap!

We ate our tacos on the road. We gave each a hug when he dropped me off. I knew at that moment that I probably wouldn’t see him again. The spark wasn’t there and he seemed a bit rude. A few days later, I found out that he was a Bible fanatic. If that wasn’t enough, he was also a raging homophobe who felt that all homosexuals deserved to be murdered. Then he insulted me for being nonreligious.

In addition, I found out about why he drove the way he did—he doesn’t have sight in his right eye. Maybe I’m wrong but I think that was something that I should have known beforehand—especially if he was driving me around. We could have gotten into an accident. I would have offered to drive.

He has asked me out since but I’ve either made up some bogus excuse or got saved by a real one. What is up with my dating life this year? First, I dated a jerk that blatantly ignored me. Then there was the jerk that wanted to be a polygamist. Then I dated another jerk that didn’t like Black women but was Black his damn self. Gosh, can I please just date a normal guy this year?