Something lingers inside me through the day and haunts me at night. I cannot render any explanations of what it could be. It is not a ghost. It is not something that goes bump in the night either. It sure isn’t gas.
It is an infinite longing that I cannot pinpoint. It is like a void of some sorts. It feels like a puzzle that is only missing 1 piece. A spot that is itching that I cannot seem to scratch.
What seems to be missing?
Why this constant state of wander?
What am I longing for?
A long drive with the wind blowing through my hair? God? A new start in a new city? A makeover? A slice of coconut lemon cake that is not in season at my local bakery just yet? A baby? A relationship? An earth shattering orgasm? Medication? Meditation? To encounter a near death experience to feel alive again? A new career? To stare down a barrel? To let my inner child run free and let it to pull every fire alarm in the corridors of my mind?
I wish I knew the answer to this unwavering question. All I know is that something is missing. I have called out to it and nothing echoed back to me. I have tried to be still in the moment to reflect but my rampant thoughts make things even more chaotic.
Can anyone relate? Am I making any sense? Please tell me that I’m making sense.