You May Be Single If…

Why am I single? This has been a question posed to me from all walks of life—especially sweet little old ladies. I always reply with an “I don’t know.” To tell the truth, I can think of a few reasons off the top of my head. I also have an idea why others may be too. Who would be better at telling you why you may be single than someone who is pretty darn good at it? Doesn’t it soften the blow a bit?

(Please note: “You may” is not the same as me saying of “You are.”  Also, this list does not refer to the people who are single by choice. I just wanted to get those tidbits out the way. Here are some reasons as to why you may be single.)

You May Be Single If…

You are too promiscuous.

Yes, you read that correctly. Your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. Everyone and their daddy have sampled that milkshake in every flavor! Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free, right? If a man can have sex without pursuing a romantic relationship with you, he will do it.

“Angry? Who you calling angry? I’ll show you angry!”

You are a big ole meanie.

Your disposition sucks! You rub people the wrong way. People walk on eggshells around you or try to avoid you altogether.  You come across as insulting, emasculating, condescending or just plain ole angry for no apparent reason.

You keep dating the same person.

You are drawn to and date a specific type over and over and wonder why it never works out. I call it the same sh*t, different toilet syndrome. You continuously flush and your bestie (or the nice guy you always overlook) is right by your side handing you toilet tissue.

You are not approachable.

You may come across as being too intimidating, socially awkward, snobby, creepy, etc. If a person feels hesitant or afraid to approach you, they probably won’t try to date you.

“Where is my prince of Zamunda? I didn’t get my hair done just to date  a court jester!”

You are too picky.

Sorry but no one can be the all 101 things on your perfect mate list. You do not give anyone a fair chance because they are incapable of living up to your diamond encrusted standards.  You refuse to date (or stopped dating) someone for the silliest reasons. “He’s too short.” “He chews his food funny.” “He bites his nails.” The list goes on and on.

You are afraid of getting hurt or rejected.

You have endured failed relationships and have the scars to prove it. You have been rejected and cut in half like an expired credit card. The thought of falling in love again or being committed terrifies you. You will not give someone a chance because you can already picture how it will end. You rather keep your heart under lock and key.

You are insecure.

Your self-esteem is blown to smithereens. You feel like you are not good enough. You compare yourself to others. Your self-worth is determined by the relationships you involved in. You require constant validation. Perhaps you project your insecurities in other ways (i.e. being needy, possessive, obsessive, suspicious, abusive, etc.) Or maybe you are just plain ole crazy. It’s ok. I think there’s an app for that.

Yes. Even Beyoncé wants the answer to that question.

You reek of desperation.

You date more men than you change your underwear and almost every time you think he’s the one. You get attached too fast. You throw yourself at people who are not interested in you. You try to buy their love monetarily and/or sexually. Everything about you screams, “Please love me.” You tolerate unhealthy situations in an effort not to be alone.

You are a saboteur.

You could meet the greatest person in the world and Operation F*ck It Up is initiated. If they go left, you go right. You bring in baggage from previous relationships. You sit back and wait for the other shoe to drop. You push people away. You will do or say anything to not make it work.

You are full of it.

You are a liar. You are wishy-washy. You play unnecessary games. You are a ball of confusion and cannot be taken seriously. You are exhausting. No one ever knows where they stand with you. It is only a matter of time before they get tired of being jerked around and kick you to the curb.

Well, there you have it. These are some reasons on why you may be single. By no means am I exempt from this list. (I counted 4). Why do you think some people are single? Why are you single?

More from the “May Be…If”  Series:

You May Be A Booty Call If…

He May Not Be Interested If…

You May Be Obsessed With Someone If…

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