Dating Other People?

I need a dating coach. It’s apparent that I don’t know how to date. Dating is nerve wrecking. Dating is time-consuming. Dating is confusing. Dating sucks. What happened to the good old days where you met someone, sparks instantly flew and the two of you were going steady and married with children in no time? Does that even happen anymore? Excluding my one-sided “relationship” with Text (because evidently I was in that relationship by my damn self); I haven’t been in a real relationship since 2006.

Let me explain why dating is getting on my everlasting nerves. The other day, The One Who Intrigues Me informed me that he’s dating other women in addition to me. He asked me if knowing such information made me upset. Of course I said that it didn’t bother me. And of course it was a bold face lie! I didn’t want to seem like I was some loser who stared at the fours wall in their apartment waiting for the next date. In my head, I was disappointed and sounded off a few expletives. To make it seem like it didn’t bother me even further, I also added, “You’re not my man. I’m dating other people too. I appreciate your honesty.”

“I appreciate your honesty?” Who says that sh*t? Do I appreciate knowing that I have been grouped in the sea of others? That I’m now in competition with other women? I don’t want to be one of those chicks on The Bachelor who are forced to fight for the love of one man. I’ll end up being that crazy lady that’s hauled off in an ambulance hyperventilating because I can’t handle the pressure. Now I feel as though I’m being compared to others and have to wonder if I’ll measure up…or down. Ugh!

But am I also naïve to believe that he’s supposed to date me and only me? What gives me such authority? Who do I think I am? Should I exclaim, “Date me and only me or else b*tch!” And in classic Nisha fashion, the questions began to run rampant in my head. How can he get to know me better if he’s also getting to know other chicks? How are we getting to know each other if we barely even see each other? Were dates cancelled with me so he could spend time with other chicks? Why didn’t he tell me this information sooner? This just seems like something that I should have known sooner.

I want to be in a long-term relationship. I want to have children.  My biological clock is waking up the entire neighborhood! I don’t think that I can afford to hang around to see if I’m the chosen one. Seems like a waiting game and I’m not getting any younger! And what if in classic Nisha fashion, my feelings get involved and Tyra doesn’t call my name and I’m no longer in the running to be America’s Next Top…um…you know what I mean damn it!

There was a little voice that told me to reactivate my OkCupid profile. I guess I was being OkStupid when I took it down after we met. Big mistake. I shouldn’t of counted my chickens before they hatched. Evidently, there are other chickens in the coop clucking around the cock. I wish I could ship these other chicks to their final destination to KFC or Popeyes. That would make my life even easier. Perhaps I’m getting a little too carried away with the chicken analogies…I digress.

Please chime in with your dating experiences. I have so many questions. Is it normal that a guy dates multiple women at once? Heck, is it even normal for a man to tell you such information? Did you feel like you were in competition with other women? Were you disappointed? Did you stay or leave the situation? Did you in turn dated other people? How long did you wait around for him to make a final decision? I’m utterly confused and somewhat teed off. It seemed easier when I was in casual relationships. At least I knew my chances were next to none and knew where I stood.


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