Is Monogamy a Fairytale?

Image from buzzle.comIs monogamy just a fairytale? In nearly every fairytale, there is a dashing prince that lives happily ever after with his one and only true love. Is an expectation? It sure seems like it’s a requirement. Society, marriage vows, the television show Cheaters.

 These questions always lingered in the back of my mind. I’ve always been at the crossroads on this one. On one hand, I feel there’s a slim chance of a possibility if one is conditioned to be monogamous. On the other hand, it seems like a difficult and unrealistic expectation. As I grew older, I took an hypocritical stance on it. I wanted my boyfriends to remain monogamous but secretly did my dirty deeds on the side. Horrible, I know.

 I don’t recall ever being faithful in any of my long-term /serious relationships. I’d sneaked off campus in high school to cheat on my boyfriend with an older man. I cheated on my ex fiancé with my first love. We eventually drifted apart and I lusted after a series of men. “Lied” and I cheated on each other consistently throughout our 3-year relationship. “Away” was always a phone call away. And I was sleeping with “Same” in the beginning stages of my relationship with “Potential”. No matter how intensely I loved these men, it wasn’t enough. It felt like something was always missing. Or maybe I wanted someone on standby because I always waited for the other shoe to drop. Or maybe I’m just a plain ole relationship saboteur.

 Many men I’ve encountered during and in between relationships weren’t so keen on monogamy either. They knew my situations and I knew theirs. I have a thirst for different men (even complete strangers) in fantasy and reality. I know that sounds kinda skanky but its true. I can’t help it. There’s something exciting about a different man every so often. My mind begins to wonder how he may taste, smell, and feel inside of me. I wonder about his mouth and his hands. It’s new, shiny, and waiting to be test-driven. Some that were driven weren’t worth my time but there were some worth cruising around until the wheels fell off. Most just dwelled in my fantasies.

 Am I able to be to be completely and utterly faithful? This leads me to my next question. Should my next relationship be open? How would such a conversation go? “Hey, I may not be faithful to you and I know you’re not going to be faithful so…can I fuck or lust after someone else from time to time?” Would someone other than a womanizer agree to that? Would he think that I was a whore? What if one of us decides that we should become exclusive? What if my jealousy boils over?

Questions. Questions. Questions. I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.

What are your thoughts on monogamy?


5 thoughts on “Is Monogamy a Fairytale?

  1. I believe in monogamy. I don’t think it means you can’t or shouldn’t have fantasies about other people. Humans need spontaneity and I think our fantasies about others help satisfy this need. My fantasies also help me to appreciate the current relationship I am in though. Yeah there are plenty of men in the world who could knock my socks off, but at the end of the day I have one who does, who cares about me and does the little things.

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