Ladies, Don’t Be So Desperate

image from zimbio.com

"Please don't go. I'll do anything! I can't be alone!"

We all know that desperate chick. She changes men more than she changes her panties. Her kid(s) call several different men “daddy”. She doesn’t want to be alone. She can’t handle being single. Her world revolves around a man, no matter what piece of shit he may be.

I will admit that there are a few things on the following list that I am/was guilty of. I have seen and experienced such foolishness around me. This particular woman is so desperate for a man she is willing to:

  • Date a sex offender, especially if she has kid(s). He may not be there for you honey. You can only sleep with one eye open for so long. Please put the safety of your family first!
  • Be involved with a bum who control, use, and/or abuse her money and resources. Tell that dude to get a job or a crazy check so that he can buy his own shit! You worked hard for what you have. He can too. If he wants to be taken care of, drop him off to his mama’s house. She’ll know what to do next.
  • Move in a man into your home without knowing anything about him. Not only that, she also rinse and repeats this cycle from one man to the next. Take time to get to know him. What is his favorite color? His criminal history? His medical history? There is no reason a chick should move in different men all wily nilly. What is this? Musical Chairs: Home Edition?
  • Wait around for a specific man in hopes that he might date you. If he wanted to date you, he would have asked you out already. Why are you lingering? There are other fishes in the sea for a reason. You’ll end up with cobwebs on your va jay jay and your heart waiting on him.
  • Date a man secretly. What are you? A top-secret government document? Aren’t you sick of being blotted out in the pages of his life? Are  you truly dating him if it’s in private? Date someone who wants to be seen with you in public. You’re worth that much.
  • Move in a man just to have a free babysitter (or any other type of free services). All that money you spend cooking, feeding, and taking care of him could be channeled towards said services. Why compromise your happiness just to save a few bucks?
  • Unhappily be with a man just to have a man. Don’t be afraid to be single. You could be passing up The One simply by sticking by that one. Your world should not revolve around having a man. You will lose yourself eventually.
  • Literally reeks of desperation. She doesn’t have much confidence and lets a man treat her any kind of way because she fears she can’t snag another one. She is clingy, needy, and obsessive. Men can smell desperation a mile away. Some men prey on it to get what they want (e.g. sex, money, etc). Do you want a man to prey on you or pray with you? Know you worth. Love yourself. It’s a learning process but it can be done.
  • Has sex rather quickly in hopes of snagging him. Sex doesn’t make him your man. Having a baby by him doesn’t make him your baby either. He could easily drop you without notice. What else is making him stick around? He’s already got what he wanted with minimum effort.
  • Constantly buy a man’s affection. Money can’t buy love. If that was the case, we would all save up for it. Hell, I would put love on layaway and pay on it bi-weekly. What will happen when you’re broke or the next chick has a fatter pocketbook? When the money changes, so will he.

So there you have it. Have you ever caught yourself doing any of the following? Do you know someone like this? We have all been desperate to a certain point—some more than others. We must learn from these experiences, never commit them again, and adopt healthier mindsets. Most of these situations could be avoided if you choose to love yourself more. Ladies, don’t be so desperate!

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3 thoughts on “Ladies, Don’t Be So Desperate

  1. I know so many girls that follow this list to the tee. One friend in particular has literally taken her boyfriend back after he’s broken up with her FOUR TIMES! It’s unreal. Where has our sense of self worth gone, ladies? Tell me!

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