He May Not Be Interested If…

He May Not Be Interested If…

He stops contacting you.

If you’re used to someone who keeps in contact and it all comes to a screeching halt, chances are he is no longer interested in you. If text messages used to get answered in a timely manner and now they answered hours later or not at all, take a mental note of that.

Experience: The guy I was seeing  didn’t text as much as he used to, his replies to my messages seemed short, and I had to initiate contact nearly all the time. With any situation, there are exceptions but follow your gut. It’s usually right.

He stops spending time with you.

When a man wants to make time for you, he will—even if it’s for just a few minutes.

Experience: The guy I was seeing used to spend a lot of time with, even more so when he was temporarily unemployed. After finding work, he had less time for me than usual, but his weekends were opened. Those weekends and his promises to see me went came and went.

He stops kissing you.

Shared deep long kisses that anyone with the coldest blood rushing through their veins would envy? Did they suddenly stop or lack the same intensity?

Experience: We used to kiss me all the time. Saying that it resembled the kisses in the movies wouldn’t be an overstatement. They ended just before we stopped having sex. All of the sudden, I had to initiate kisses and could only muster a peck from him.

He stops sleeping with you.

When you two used to swing off the chandelier, have explosive orgasms, and couldn’t keep your hands off each other and he suddenly doesn’t want to play hide the salami with you anymore, watch out. The sex isn’t as elaborate as it used to be and the duration became shorter and shorter. Of course there are exceptions such as: stress, work, death in the family, etc. But if the freaky action has changed or seems like a distant memory with each day, watch out.

He talks about other women.

If a man tends to make general comments about other women (that he’s dated or otherwise) or the type a woman he’s more drawn to, he may not be interested in you.

Experience: The guy I was seeing said that he was into brunettes that resembled Sarah Palin or Tina Fey.  So, in reality, an afro wearing Black chick wouldn’t make the team.

He tells you that he doesn’t want a relationship.

If a man is interested, he wants to pursue a relationship with you, even at the cost of your friendship. Don’t believe the hype. He has to know if he could take it further. It’s the thrill of the hunt. I’ve heard the “I’m single by choice” mumbo jumbo.

Experience: Someone told me that he “single by choice”. But all of a sudden, he has shown interest in the new flavor of the month. Now I know the translation means, “I’m not single by choice. I just choose not to be in a relationship with you.”

He doesn’t ask you out to dates.

Ladies, we all know if a man’s interested in you, he will ask you out on a date. Maybe he’ll ask you out for coffee, a walk in the park, dinner, movies, etc. He wants to impress you, spend some quality time and perhaps show you off.

Experience: We have never been on a date. We went to Wal-Mart once and a few adult stores but never on a date. We hung out, had movie nights, and dinner at his place but that isn’t an actual date.

He doesn’t mind if you date others.

A man who is interested solely on you wants to keep you for himself. He wouldn’t want anyone else treading on his territory. Men are hunters by nature and like to capture their prey. If he is not pursuing you, he is not interested.

Experience: I had a sex buddy and he told me that if another potential relationship came along, I should pursue it.

So there you have it. These are the following indications showed me that that someone is not interested in you. Believe me, people can show you better than they can tell you. You have to be willing to see the signs before they actually have to tell you (which totally sucks by the way).

Ever been dropped like a hot potato? Did any of the following happened (or is happening) to you? Feel free to share your experiences.

P.S. Just because he is not interested in you does not mean that there is something wrong with you. I had to drill it in my head that it’s his loss and move on. 🙂 

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4 thoughts on “He May Not Be Interested If…

  1. OMG I promise I just got an eye opener about a situation I was in that was something like yours except this one took me through the ringer. We went so far as the I love yous, talking about our future together, and so much more.

    In the beginning I didn’t want a relationship I just wanted someone to date and hang out with. I was coming off of a bad situation so I just wanted some fun and 1 person to provide sex. (just being honest) He kept on with the you’re my dream girl and you’re gonna be my wife and so much more. He was so charming and OMG once we finally had sex, WOW! So needless to say as much as I fought it I fell in love. I guess that was all he was after because it went down hill from there. Pretty much all of the above began to happen except he didn’t want to know about me with any other man. When we would talk he would still tell me he loves me and we’d be together but he was just scared of me because I could break his heart. I fell for all this bull.

    Long story shortened, my eyes are open now and I realize it was all just a lie. Like you said if a man is really interested he will make time, even if it’s just a few minutes. There’s not that much scared in the world without using a weapon. I’m now left picking up the pieces of my heart and trying to get him out of my head. How do you just turn the feelings off and move on?

    Guess I just kind of vented…sorry. Your post just touched me deep.

  2. Vent sista, vent. I’m so glad you shared your experience with me. It was definitely an eye opener for me especially when I sit here and think about it. Then I start to think about other situations I’ve been in for far too long even when they showed me signs that they weren’t interested in me. I iwsh I knew how to turn the feelings off and move on. It’s so hard especially when you have given so much of yourself to that person That is the million dollar question. Time heals all wounds or so they say. Thanks again for sharing your truth. I feel less alone now.

  3. Interesting post and I agree for the most part but I know there are always exceptions because of work and conflicting schedules. I was seeing someone and our schedules just got in the way but we both discussed it and were able to work around it until I moved away. The break up was mutual and we are still friends though. I often hear stories about guys doing one or more of the above things when he wants to end things with a woman, and it’s a shame because they should just be upfront about it.

  4. Pingback: You May Be Single If… « Paramour in Waiting

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