The Distance Between Us

It has been a while, yes indeed. I apologize for the hiatus but due to some personal reasons (laptop in pawn shop and it’s still chilling there. Donations are welcomed. Ha ha ha.), I haven’t been able to blog like I wished.

My best friend recently asked me if I was falling for Soothed. I couldn’t give her definite answer. Truth is I asked myself the same question a few days earlier. Was I falling for Soothed? I enjoyed spending time with him. We have amazing sex. We have tantalizing conversations. Like I said in this blog post, he gave me the total boyfriend experience without being my actual boyfriend.

I asked him once (but disguised as if my best friend asked) what were his intentions. He said to give me orgasms. I chuckled but it hurt my feelings slightly but I shook most of the disappointment off…until recently. We stopped having sex a month ago. The last time we hung out, he told me that he wasn’t interested in having sex that night. I thought it was a turnaround. I thought that perhaps we could actually hang out without having wild kinky sex—that perhaps he was starting to see me in a different light. I thought it was endearing…until recently. We’ve haven’t hung out in 3 weeks. Yes, 3 weeks!

We texted back on forth the other week and I told him that I missed him. He in turn said that we should hang out soon because he had 4 days off. Cool. Those 4 days came and fucking went! Then a few days later, he told me that he got off early that next Wednesday and said we should hang out then. I didn’t get my hopes up too much but figured he wouldn’t let me down this time around. He called me on his way home, said that he worked later than expected, and was too tired to hang out. I told him to get some rest and politely hung up the phone.  That was 8 days ago. 8 days!

I refuse to call or text him. Evidently, he is avoiding me. But I can’t help but wonder what happened. Is there someone else? Did he grow tired of me? Did I say or do something wrong? It seems as if his indifference came out of nowhere! I was going to confront him; I even wrote a letter but its best that I don’t say anything. Could his explanation actually make me feel any better? A part of me is afraid of what he may say.  Sigh.

Well, on a lighter note, Potential wants to take me to the movies on his next off day. I should be uber excited but Soothed in still on the brain. Gosh, why do I attach myself to emotionally unavailable men? Am I masochist?


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