My Warning Label

When I meet someone new, a part of me is afraid to show my true self. Of all the people I know and love, there are probably less than a handful of people who understand me. I can be simple and complex. I am full of contradictions and some people may take it as dishonesty. I am still trying to find me. If I had to guts, I would tell any person who wanted to date me the following:

  1. I am a loner. There are times when I don’t answer my phone or open the door simply because I want to be alone. Don’t take it personal.
  2. I stay in my head a lot. I’m not tuning you out. Sometimes my thoughts compete with others when they’re talking. I can’t shut it off.
  3. There are times when I go on a writing binge. Most likely, it’s about you or it may not be. And I don’t like sharing so don’t ask to read it unless I grant you permission.
  4. I am not a neat person. I clean up for appearances but my closet is the only place where there is complete chaos and I LIKE IT.
  5. I don’t mind cuddling for a few minutes. I don’t like feeling restrained. I have to pee a lot because I drink a lot of water and soda. I also fart in my sleep.
  6. Don’t shove or move my face during oral sex. I hate that shit. I know what I’m doing. I never had complaints.
  7. I don’t like to ride. I love when a man in control and I like it a little rough. And no, I won’t just lie there. I do believe in gyrating my hips.
  8. I’m very vocal in bed. So vocal that everybody and their mama can hear me. If I’m silent, you are doing a poor job.
  9.  I am very forgetful. If I tell you I will call you back and I don’t, chances are I forgot.
  10. I can be jealous and a bit obsessive,  if and only if I like and/or love you a lot. If I don’t like you, expect the complete opposite. I will pretend you don’t exist.
  11. If our first sexual experience is horrible, you won’t see me again. Sorry.
  12. I get depressed at times. I would like to be left alone 1-3 days when I feel this way.
  13. My mood switches frequently.
  14. I feel lost at times so I am quite shifty and indecisive.
  15. I have rage in me that I try to keep hidden or on reserve until I need it. I rarely need it though.
  16. I am passive aggressive. I won’t say that I’m mad at you; I’ll just do or say certain things so you can get the hint.
  17. I am bipolar. This may explain some of these weird traits I have.
  18. I am a free spirit and love going against convention. I’ll find any excuse not to fall in line.
  19. I am not religious. Don’t ask me to go to church or push religion down my throat.
  20. I have facial hair. I shave and pluck them but it comes back. Deal with it. There are times that won’t shave my armpits or legs.

This is only a partial list. I know that most of it sounds strange but I like to think that I’m worth it. I wonder who would date me after knowing all of this shit now.


9 thoughts on “My Warning Label

  1. Well change is good, especially if you want to get along better with people. I suggest that you share your list with any new guys in your life so they know what they are in for and choose to stay or leave. It would be a lot easier on you. I suspect that part of the way you are is a coping mechanism because of past hurts. You realize that you are not just a handful, but are two handsful with a whole lot of prickly. Guys want soft and gentle and nurturing not prickly. We want you to be our biggest cheerleader, not our critic in chief and most of all we want respect. Guys are way more sensitive than they let on because most women don’t make it safe for them to be totally honest. A gentle hand as well as a gentle spirit and a soft mouth all are benefiicial in the care and feeding of guys, if you are interested.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

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