Under His Covers Blues (Part II)

I wanted to finish the 2nd part to the Under His Covers Blues post but was too embarrassed to write it. It was also too painful. To make a long story short, Soothed wanted to continue our sexual relationship but did not want to pursue anything romantic with me. When I asked him why he chose his ex instead of me—yeah, bad move—he told me something that twisted the knife further inside my heart.

He told me ever so delicately that he always had a particular image of a mate and that I did not fit into it. In other words, his vision didn’t contain a Black woman. He didn’t say that but I knew that’s what he meant. I was good enough to roll around naked with but not good enough for a relationship. He could put his hands all over my body but would never hold my hand it public. He also told me that he loved me, I was a great person—his efforts to pacify me I suppose—and that some people are just meant to be friends. I then told him that we shouldn’t hang out anymore.

After the times we shared, sexual and non-sexual, it all boiled down to the color of my skin. The feelings of rejection and yes, even inferiority set in. The situation reminded me of the fallout between me and The Lawyer. If you recall, he was a Black man that I was spending time with who told me that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with Black women and that they were only good for sex. Hearing that from a Black man was horrible but to hear them from a White man added different layers of emotions for me. I felt like I’ve been sleeping with the enemy all this time. How could I be so blind to his prejudice?

After that conversation, I avoided Soothed like the plague. I suppose he did the same. He began to date again and brought over the type of women he “had a particular image of” back to his place. Living a few feet away from him grew more awkward and frustrating. Things were so uncomfortable that I wanted to move but couldn’t afford to. When we did see each other, he would initiate small talk but I was usually curt and distant in my responses. Things weren’t the same anymore and I didn’t feel like pretending.

That was 3 months ago.

Lately, he has been texting me more than usual. He even texted me after his overnight guest left. The texts went from seeing how I was doing to he was thinking about me. Something was definitely up. Why contact me now? Isn’t he supposed to be dating the women of his dreams? They sauntered by my window almost every weekend. What was his deal?

As time progressed, he began to say more. He told me that he has been dating other women but they couldn’t fulfill him sexually like I did. He said that they were too sexually repressed, didn’t reciprocate and acted as if his penis was “icky”. I couldn’t help but to laugh. Karma is such a b-word.

I won’t lie. It was definitely an ego boost. This chocolate got him all shook up! Ha! Too bad he won’t be sampling it anymore. What did he expect me to do? Drop my panties and bust my crevices wide open? I don’t think so. The cycle is just going to repeat itself. We’re going to have all this amazing sex until he finds the next non-Black woman of his dreams and kicks me to the curb. In the wise words of Sweet Brown, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

 

I concur Sweet Brown. I concur.

Yet Another Dating Mis√adventure

So…I had date recently. We have been conversing back and forth on Facebook a while now. Eventually, we began communicating outside of social media. (Sidenote: I actually thought he was this guy that I conversed with in my Myspace days but yeah…I was wrong.) Anywho, he seemed like a cool guy. He is the type that I usually go for physically and intellectually but somehow I wasn’t attracted to him.

I think my last experience has me wary about getting too involved and has made me somewhat cold. I don’t put all my eggs in one basket anymore. I’ve actually kicked the eggs and the basket to the curb. They seem to weigh me down and disappoint me every time.

He asked me out to the movies and I accepted the invitation. I didn’t have any expectations. I didn’t expect to be so taken by him that I would pick out baby names. But yet and still, going on a date should have at least excited me a little bit. I really don’t get out much. My last real date was in early April.

He picked me up at my apartment complex. Although we were conversing, the energy felt slightly awkward. Also, when I would ask a question, they went unanswered or he would give me a response that didn’t cater to the question. It was as if he was ignoring me. I found this odd but didn’t make a big deal out of it. Another thing that irked me was his driving. It seemed somewhat erratic even though his eyes were on the road the entire time. It was kind of weird.  I didn’t know what to make of it.

When we arrived at the movie theater, he complained about the $3 parking fee. Yeah, he had the nerve to complain about $3. We drove around looking for a free spot for several minutes before he finally caved in—but not without giving the parking attendant hell about it. He wanted a rundown of what he was paying for! It was so embarrassing!

He purchased the tickets for Borne Legacy and we proceeded to our designated area. I leaned in to whisper a joke into his right ear but something out of the ordinary occurred. He handed me some weird contraption attached to a cord. He informed me that he couldn’t hear out of his right ear and wanted me to talk into his amplifier. I was taken aback by it and declined. There were people around us and I couldn’t really whisper anymore.

After the movies, we drove around aimlessly looking for a place to eat. He finally decided on a Tex-Mex restaurant. He didn’t ask what I wanted and order 2 tacos for me. Then he proceeded to give the cashier a hard time about ingredients in an item that he didn’t even order. Can you say embarrassed yet again? When we got into his truck, he let me inside and he walked to McDonald’s to get a free cup of water for himself. I couldn’t wait to get home! This dude was rude and to top it off—cheap!

We ate our tacos on the road. We gave each a hug when he dropped me off. I knew at that moment that I probably wouldn’t see him again. The spark wasn’t there and he seemed a bit rude. A few days later, I found out that he was a Bible fanatic. If that wasn’t enough, he was also a raging homophobe who felt that all homosexuals deserved to be murdered. Then he insulted me for being nonreligious.

In addition, I found out about why he drove the way he did—he doesn’t have sight in his right eye. Maybe I’m wrong but I think that was something that I should have known beforehand—especially if he was driving me around. We could have gotten into an accident. I would have offered to drive.

He has asked me out since but I’ve either made up some bogus excuse or got saved by a real one. What is up with my dating life this year? First, I dated a jerk that blatantly ignored me. Then there was the jerk that wanted to be a polygamist. Then I dated another jerk that didn’t like Black women but was Black his damn self. Gosh, can I please just date a normal guy this year?